The Clunkman Cometh

It's Saturtock morning. Luna is busy with habiprac, while Gramps goes off to the Darby & Joan club for a beetle drive, and Andy has to recharge, leaving a bored Brat alone to answer the entry port. A clunk and tatter man, "Honest Harry" 35T, is there looking for junk to trade. Brat is keen to exchange something for the computerised yellowmetal fish on offer, while the clunkman orders his alien - a nervous furry orange creature - in to the viron and threatens it for wimpering.

80H is piled under with work and suffering from dentician distress, brought on by too many sweets - an inefficiency bureaubeings of his status aren't supposed to indulge in. 40D doesn't believe his claim that he's too busy to see the dentalrental, and says he's scared.

Luna needs help with her homework, and goes to find Andy, interrupting the clunkman carting him away for spare parts. Luna points out that he doesn't have a requiform, and entry port negotiations with diminibeings are non-legal by interstellar legislation. Brat is disappointed they won't be able to get a new efficient android, while Luna is concerned at the mistreatment of the alien - a little simple from the planet Sim, reported to have healing powers. After the clunkman ports, Luna wants to rescue it, but Andy insists that aliens are unacceptable in sector 8-0 and 80H would be furious.

That night, Luna sneaks in to the clunkman's viron, to see him collapse in a drunken stupor. She quietly beckons the alien creature over to her and takes it back to Jo-Y. Andy almost catches her, but she manages to conceal the alien in her limb.

The next day, the clunkman shows up at 80H's office. 35T recognises Sid and gets him to take his helmet off. 80H isn't thrilled to see his old acquaintance, but takes down a description of the stolen alien. 35T isn't keen to deal with the bureaubots, so persuades 80H to help by mentioning the black market sweeties he used to supply to Sid, which it wouldn't do for the Galactic Coordinator to hear about. 35T suspects Luna, a possibility 80H rejects out of hand. As the clunkman is leaving, 80H stops him and makes him return the items he'd pocketed while in the office.

At munch, Luna obtains extra food to feed her secret pet. Gramps is about to head off to the Darby & Joan pop concert with his valuable Haircut 100 album Pelican West. Brat gets him to listen to ear spheres, but he's unimpressed and will stick to his golden oldies. Then 80H arrives, looking for the missing simplian. Luna says they saw it yestertock. But as he leaves, the alien comes out of hiding, and Brat immediately signals him back. 80H is disappointed in Luna, but will overlook the offence and return the alien to the clunkman. He gives Brat a sweetie in gratitude. Andy and Gramps agree he's scared of the fangquack, and are annoyed with Brat. Luna is upset.

80H visits the clunkman, to let him know Luna did indeed have the alien. 35T gives him more sweets in gratitude.

Luna is refusing to give Jazzmine (as she has named the alien) back to the horrid clunkman. Brat now has dentician distress too, which Andy thinks serves him right. Brat claims he was only doing his duty, and blames Jazzmine for his toothache. Then 80H and the clunkman arrive. Sid tries to call over Jazzmine, and she cures his dentician distress showing that she really does have healing powers. Luna begs 80H to let her stay, and he consents, as long as it stays completely off the record. The clunkman, however, is not willing to let his property be taken away without compensation. He still wants Andy...

Guest Cast

35T (the Clunkman) - Robbie Coltrane

First broadcast 5:15pm, Sat 29 Jan

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